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Old Testament -> Proverbs

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 23:13-14

Proverbs for Skeptics

There are a lot of good sayings in Proverbs. Here are a few of my favorites:

“Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart.” 3:3

“Rejoice with the wife of thy youth…. Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” 5:18-19

“Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning.” 7:18

“He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind.” 11:29

“The simple believeth every word.” 14:15

“A soft answer turneth away wrath.” 15:1

“The hoary head is a crown of glory.” 16:31

“Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth.” 24:17

“Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will render to the man according to his work.” 24:29

“Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips.” 27:2

“Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.” 31:6-7

But there’s plenty of bad stuff, too. For example:

God will laugh at your misfortunes, mock you when you are afraid, and ignore you when your ask him for help. 1:26-28

Watch out for those strange, brawling, angry, contentious, adulterous, odious women. 2:16-18, 5:3-5, 6:24-26, 7:5-27, 21:19, 22:14, 23:27-28, 25:24, 27:15, 30:20, 23

Foolish women are simple and know nothing; they drag innocent men into hell. 9:13

“As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” 11:22

Beat the hell out of your children. 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15

“The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil; so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.” 20:30

The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous. 21:18

Beat your slaves just like you do your children. Don’t try to correct them with words. 29:19

If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out your eyeballs and feed them to the eagles. 30:17