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Ever have a relationship stressed/impacted/fractured by conflicting political views?
Whether it be dating couples, spouses, parents, siblings, coworkers, or just friends, to what extent has opposing political views affected those relationships? I mean, it’s one thing to sit at a keyboard and ruffle feathers with complete strangers on internet forums, but in our personal lives our political views (and the views of those we interact with on a daily basis) carry much more baggage.
Ever have a relationship stressed/impacted/fractured by conflicting political views?
Whether it be dating couples, spouses, parents, siblings, coworkers, or just friends, to what extent has opposing political views affected those relationships? I mean, it’s one thing to sit at a keyboard and ruffle feathers with complete strangers on internet forums, but in our personal lives our political views (and the views of those we interact with on a daily basis) carry much more baggage.
Ron
Back sometime in the mid-80s I was sitting in a coffee shop and got chatting with a woman. There was obviously chemistry going on between us and the conversation was drifting towards the “my place or your place” point where we would rush off for passionate sex. Then the topic of politics came up and it turned out we were on opposite sides of a question in the news at the time. She said she could never have sex with somebody who didn’t have the “right” political beliefs. Sigh….
I was broke at the time, paying off all the debts I’d run up while working as a sessional slave. Didn’t mention that to her though, even then I know that the world’s greatest aphrodisiac is essence of wallet.
I was broke at the time, paying off all the debts I’d run up while working as a sessional slave. Didn’t mention that to her though, even then I know that the world’s greatest aphrodisiac is essence of wallet.
Continuing to steer the OP off course. . .
“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
- P.J. O’Rourke
Q: What is six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild?
A: Cash.
We have deep political divisions within my extended family. The Republicans are much more rabid than the Liberals. There is now an implicit agreement not to talk politics at family get-togethers.
i often wonder how James Carville and Mary Matalin manage to stay together. Of course, their marriage was a brilliant career move, but, still…living with someone whose views are diametrically opposed to your own must be difficult. I can’t imagine living with a staunch Republican
We have deep political divisions within my extended family. The Republicans are much more rabid than the Liberals. There is now an implicit agreement not to talk politics at family get-togethers.
i often wonder how James Carville and Mary Matalin manage to stay together. Of course, their marriage was a brilliant career move, but, still…living with someone whose views are diametrically opposed to your own must be difficult. I can’t imagine living with a staunch Republican
My parents were always Republicans, especially my dad who spent about 8 years as chief legislative assistant for a conservative (Goldwater type, not tea party) state assemblyman in California. His brother’s family, on the other hand were staunch Democrats (his brother’s wife was the daughter of a former Democratic senator from Wyoming). One of my cousins from the Democratic side once told me that she and her (then) new husband had stopped to visit my parents for a couple of days while traveling. At the first night’s dinner, after sitting down at the table, my dad announced: “There are three things we’re not suppose to talk about in polite company: politics, sex, and religion. Let’s start with politics.” And a merry old time was had by all.
We have deep political divisions within my extended family. The Republicans are much more rabid than the Liberals. There is now an implicit agreement not to talk politics at family get-togethers.
i often wonder how James Carville and Mary Matalin manage to stay together. Of course, their marriage was a brilliant career move, but, still…living with someone whose views are diametrically opposed to your own must be difficult. I can’t imagine living with a staunch Republican
I can’t either, Saralynn. We have those divisions in our family, too. Between some of us they are very deep - unbrigable in fact - particularly in respect of religion. So, instead of not talking about religion we just don’t talk. It’s sad but seems to work best for us that way. When people tell me they love the sinner but hate the sin they have decided it’s ok to hate an essential part of what makes me me. Not much one can do with that. And the redneck politics seems to go with the religion. That’s religion for you. Divisive.
Ever have a relationship stressed/impacted/fractured by conflicting political views?
Whether it be dating couples, spouses, parents, siblings, coworkers, or just friends, to what extent has opposing political views affected those relationships? I mean, it’s one thing to sit at a keyboard and ruffle feathers with complete strangers on internet forums, but in our personal lives our political views (and the views of those we interact with on a daily basis) carry much more baggage.
Ron
Back sometime in the mid-80s I was sitting in a coffee shop and got chatting with a woman. There was obviously chemistry going on between us and the conversation was drifting towards the “my place or your place” point where we would rush off for passionate sex. Then the topic of politics came up and it turned out we were on opposite sides of a question in the news at the time. She said she could never have sex with somebody who didn’t have the “right” political beliefs. Sigh….
I would have lied to her, just to get laid. It’s okay to lie to people who disagree with you politically. I don’t think politics ever came between me and anyone or anything else. It’s entertaining to watch it happen between other people, though.
What was the topic of your disagreement? Who expressed their views first? In other words, could you have lied if you’d been so inclined? Or was your political cat already out of the bag before you realized what she had in hers?
It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where what’s-her-name spoils a budding relationship over a disagreement about abortion.
Pretty much my entire family leans way right, while I’m the lone liberal (I’m actually registered as an Independent, but I do support Obama). My 3 nieces and their husbands and another (out of state) sister and her husband all drink the FOX News Kool Aid. So you can imagine what a Holiday gathering would be like with all of them feeding off each other if something triggers a discussion on politics (something that’s not hard to do). The funny thing is, prior to the 2008 election, politics was never a factor in our family. It was hardly ever discussed. And if it was, it was rather innocuous. But 4 years of Obama, Tea Parties, Occupy Wall Street, Healthcare, Birthers, Trayvon Martin, tax cut debates, etc. have ratcheted up everybody’s emotions in ways that simply did not/could not occur before 2008. Chain emails began circulating in earnest shortly after Obama’s election. They were mostly of the “Obama is a Muslim terrorist non-US citizen anti-Christ” variety, and I easily debunked all of them with a minimum of research. A month later, the same emails were recirculated. It became clear that politics suddenly mattered. It also became clear that my out of state sister and her long suspected racist husband are just that… racist (his blatant and unapologetic use of the “N” word and his continued bashing of minorities cinched it). Her failure to admonish him casts her unfavorably as well. The good thing is that they are out of state and don’t visit that much. I doubt that when my mom passes we’ll have any contact at all. We were never that close anyway, as she is significantly older, and for almost my entire life has always lived out of state, making establishing a typical sibling relationship difficult.
Family gatherings in state are different now. Nobody is openly hostile to anybody, but there is an undercurrent of “I know that you think that I think that…” - you get the picture. And every once in a while a subtle comment will slip through. I generally have a good relationship with my nieces and their husbands, but a bell that has been rung cannot be unrung.
Ever have a relationship stressed/impacted/fractured by conflicting political views?
Whether it be dating couples, spouses, parents, siblings, coworkers, or just friends, to what extent has opposing political views affected those relationships? I mean, it’s one thing to sit at a keyboard and ruffle feathers with complete strangers on internet forums, but in our personal lives our political views (and the views of those we interact with on a daily basis) carry much more baggage.
Ron
Back sometime in the mid-80s I was sitting in a coffee shop and got chatting with a woman. There was obviously chemistry going on between us and the conversation was drifting towards the “my place or your place” point where we would rush off for passionate sex. Then the topic of politics came up and it turned out we were on opposite sides of a question in the news at the time. She said she could never have sex with somebody who didn’t have the “right” political beliefs. Sigh….
I would have lied to her, just to get laid. It’s okay to lie to people who disagree with you politically. I don’t think politics ever came between me and anyone or anything else. It’s entertaining to watch it happen between other people, though.
What was the topic of your disagreement? Who expressed their views first? In other words, could you have lied if you’d been so inclined? Or was your political cat already out of the bag before you realized what she had in hers?
It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where what’s-her-name spoils a budding relationship over a disagreement about abortion.
I was into honesty at the time. Don’t really recall what the difference was, something pretty benign.
Pretty much my entire family leans way right, while I’m the lone liberal (I’m actually registered as an Independent, but I do support Obama). My 3 nieces and their husbands and another (out of state) sister and her husband all drink the FOX News Kool Aid. So you can imagine what a Holiday gathering would be like with all of them feeding off each other if something triggers a discussion on politics (something that’s not hard to do). The funny thing is, prior to the 2008 election, politics was never a factor in our family. It was hardly ever discussed. And if it was, it was rather innocuous. But 4 years of Obama, Tea Parties, Occupy Wall Street, Healthcare, Birthers, Trayvon Martin, tax cut debates, etc. have ratcheted up everybody’s emotions in ways that simply did not/could not occur before 2008. Chain emails began circulating in earnest shortly after Obama’s election. They were mostly of the “Obama is a Muslim terrorist non-US citizen anti-Christ” variety, and I easily debunked all of them with a minimum of research. A month later, the same emails were recirculated. It became clear that politics suddenly mattered. It also became clear that my out of state sister and her long suspected racist husband are just that… racist (his blatant and unapologetic use of the “N” word and his continued bashing of minorities cinched it). Her failure to admonish him casts her unfavorably as well. The good thing is that they are out of state and don’t visit that much. I doubt that when my mom passes we’ll have any contact at all. We were never that close anyway, as she is significantly older, and for almost my entire life has always lived out of state, making establishing a typical sibling relationship difficult.
Family gatherings in state are different now. Nobody is openly hostile to anybody, but there is an undercurrent of “I know that you think that I think that…” - you get the picture. And every once in a while a subtle comment will slip through. I generally have a good relationship with my nieces and their husbands, but a bell that has been rung cannot be unrung.
Ron
I hope this does not forecast 11/12 and beyond. Scary.
My Fox News True Believer, Birther, Teabagging, All-Taxes-Are-All-Bad, any-politician-he-doesn’t-agree-with-is-a-traitor dad has sent a steady stream of whacked right wing emails since the 2004 election, and after about two dozen debunkings I gave him up for lost. My mom is not as whacked, but in her mind Obama is out to ruin the country. My MIL is an easily influenced ditz who leans whichever way the dominant political winds in her sphere of influence blow, and currently it’s blowing far to the right. My FIL is much more centrist Republican. I can’t have political discussions with my dad because when he is cornered on being wrong he accuses me of being a communist, as if that ends the discussion. My mom and MIL won’t listen to anything outside her echo chamber, and my FIL will reconsider a good point, or at least admit ignorance.
As the lone Liberal Arts major with a B.A. and M.A. I like to hang them with their own ropes, namely ask them to produce evidence of their claims besides anecdotes they hear from friends and Fox. The tactic works only to get them from bringing up politics with me but certainly doesn’t change their minds.
My wife is uninterested in politics and is bullied by the above when she’s without me to defend her, but she’s on the liberal side of things with me, and even then we still find things to fight about.
My own relatives are a mishmash of views, defying my impulse to stereotype. My sister-in-law is a self-defined “social liberal but a fiscal conservative” Republican. So we agree on about half the issues. My sort-of father-in-law (my elderly mom’s live-in manfriend) is a Catholic that attends church every Sunday, and also enjoys Mardi Gras and approves of President Obama.
My husband is closer to a full-spectrum conservative, so we don’t talk about these issues much, except an occasional jibe. That’s sort of my fault. My foray into Christianity swept him up in the tide. I eventually straggled out of the water, but he still floats there taking comfort in being buoyed. The explanation may have to do with his mother’s dying wish to her youngest son (he was 12 at the time) that he take on her faith. His beloved father had a personal faith in Jesus as well. In any case, after a number of uncomfortable arguments, my hub and I tacitly agreed to disagree. Fortunately, we both still share a taste in music, cuisine, and leisure activities. In areas of disagreement, we tend to rub the sharp corners off each other, which is a good thing. I am relieved to report he no longer listens to Fox News.
When I crave a spirited discussion with someone I agree with, I talk with one of my young adult sons.
