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What does Jesus want?
Posted: 09 March 2012 12:54 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 106 ]
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Mike78 - 09 March 2012 12:42 PM
unsmoked - 09 March 2012 12:39 PM
Sciguy - 09 March 2012 12:28 PM
Andrew - 09 March 2012 12:10 PM
Sciguy - 09 March 2012 12:01 PM

Since he’d never seen Jesus before, how did he know it was him?

(Andrew):  Don’t be silly!  He had holes in his hands and ankles.
Jeeez…

You’d think someone able to rise from the dead could heal a few little scars, lol.

Right!  Christians are always insisting that they are going to be good as new in heaven even if they are a total wreck when they die.  Like, even minor problems.  Who would want to spend eternity with eczema for example?

Who would want to spend eternity .....?

Right!  So you’re greeted by seven beautiful virgins and then you find out that they have to remain virgins.  Or else they all get pregnant, one after the other.  Or . . .

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‘Dear Future Generations:  Please accept our apologies.  We were roaring drunk on petroleum.’  -  Kurt Vonnegut

‘Americans consume 25% of the world’s energy despite representing just 5% of global population.’  -  Scientific American

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Posted: 09 March 2012 01:02 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 107 ]
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Sciguy - 09 March 2012 12:28 PM
Andrew - 09 March 2012 12:10 PM
Sciguy - 09 March 2012 12:01 PM

Since he’d never seen Jesus before, how did he know it was him?

(Andrew):  Don’t be silly!  He had holes in his hands and ankles.
Jeeez…

You’d think someone able to rise from the dead could heal a few little scars, lol.

LOL  Actually, he has to spend hours sitting in make-up with his fx man.

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“This is it. You are it.”


- Jos. Campbell

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Posted: 09 March 2012 04:27 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 108 ]
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C’mon, he said, “I am Jesus…”
Well, at least Luke wrote that he said that.

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Posted: 09 March 2012 10:11 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 109 ]
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hannahfriend - 09 March 2012 04:27 PM

C’mon, he said, “I am Jesus…”
Well, at least Luke wrote that he said that.

But Paul never asked, “Jesus who?” And nobody else at the scene heard him.

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Posted: 10 March 2012 06:34 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 110 ]
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There were a lot of people named Jesus in the fertile crescent in the first century CE. The creator of the universe could have been more original.

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‘The supernatural hypothesis is simply untestable and leads nowhere’

Donald Prothero

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Posted: 10 March 2012 07:15 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 111 ]
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I think after breakfast I’ll take a shit, and then I’ll tell the creator of the universe how unoriginal he is.

Naw, I’ll just take the shit.

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What this country needs is a man who knows God other than by hearsay. Thomas Carlyle

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Posted: 10 March 2012 07:24 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 112 ]
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I guess I meant to say that, in the Bible, the storyline in Acts is clear that the voice is obviously Jesus.  However, I don’t accept Luke’s word as being historically true, since the rest Acts, like the Gospel of Luke, is a collection of oral traditions (tales) that had been passed down.  Acts may have been written around AD60, which is a full generation after the crucifixion. 

As for Paul’s own words, he says that Jesus appeared to him (as to others) in Corinthians.  There is no detail from Paul.  I guess he could have been flat out making it up for effect, or he could have been sincerely mistaken (a hallucination).  I think it is unlikely that someone pretended to be Jesus or that another guy named Jesus happened by at the moment of Paul’s spiritual epiphany.  I take it on face value that Paul really thought he was visited by Jesus.

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Posted: 10 March 2012 07:31 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 113 ]
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TheBrotherMario - 10 March 2012 07:15 AM

I think after breakfast I’ll take a shit, and then I’ll tell the creator of the universe how unoriginal he is.

Naw, I’ll just take the shit.

Don’t worry, I’ll tell him for you.

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Carl Sagan:  “How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, “This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed”? Instead they say, “No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.”

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Posted: 10 March 2012 09:04 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 114 ]
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TheBrotherMario - 10 March 2012 07:15 AM

I think after breakfast I’ll take a shit, and then I’ll tell the creator of the universe how unoriginal he is.

Naw, I’ll just take the shit.

If you change your mind, be sure to do it before you flush ... or you’ll miss your chance.

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Posted: 10 March 2012 09:22 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 115 ]
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hannahfriend - 10 March 2012 07:24 AM

I guess I meant to say that, in the Bible, the storyline in Acts is clear that the voice is obviously Jesus.  However, I don’t accept Luke’s word as being historically true, since the rest Acts, like the Gospel of Luke, is a collection of oral traditions (tales) that had been passed down.  Acts may have been written around AD60, which is a full generation after the crucifixion. 

As for Paul’s own words, he says that Jesus appeared to him (as to others) in Corinthians.  There is no detail from Paul.  I guess he could have been flat out making it up for effect, or he could have been sincerely mistaken (a hallucination).  I think it is unlikely that someone pretended to be Jesus or that another guy named Jesus happened by at the moment of Paul’s spiritual epiphany.  I take it on face value that Paul really thought he was visited by Jesus.

Of course Paul was referring to the Jesus. I was being facetious. My understanding is that he wrote that his traveling companions saw the light but didn’t hear the voice. It’s rather pointless to even discuss the possibility of literal legitimacy of the event, any of the supernatural events as relayed in the Bible, as if anyone can verify and resolve the propositions. We simply have to use our knowledge base of reality and the construction of the Universe and human mind to make the determination. The real facts of the matter are that none other of what the human body and mind is verifiably capable of really applys. That leaves us in the realm of story, myth, fiction, belief and faith.

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- Jos. Campbell

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Posted: 10 March 2012 11:15 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 116 ]
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hannahfriend - 09 March 2012 04:27 PM

C’mon, he said, “I am Jesus…”
Well, at least Luke wrote that he said that.

Thousands of people in each generation really do think they are Jesus.  Remember, the Bible Jesus said he’d be back soon.

People who think they are Napoleon sometimes stand with one hand tucked under their coat and maybe fashion a cocked hat out of newspaper.  People who think they are Jesus sometimes go so far as to puncture their hands and feet, wear sandals and a robe, carry a shepherd’s crook, and sport long hair and beard like the popular Sunday-school portraits.  There may be one ranting in Hyde Park right now.

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‘Dear Future Generations:  Please accept our apologies.  We were roaring drunk on petroleum.’  -  Kurt Vonnegut

‘Americans consume 25% of the world’s energy despite representing just 5% of global population.’  -  Scientific American

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Posted: 10 March 2012 11:40 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 117 ]
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Avogadro’s number - 10 March 2012 06:34 AM

There were a lot of people named Jesus in the fertile crescent in the first century CE. The creator of the universe could have been more original.

If God was more original I don’t think he’d have copied all the characteristics of Egyptian, Greek, and Roman deities when he sent Jesus.  Plagiarizing the exploits of made-up miraculous beings . . . I dunno . . .  Now,  how Joseph Smith came to write the Book of Mormon!  There’s originality! 

I think being kind to one’s enemies is original, but Christians put people like that in front of a firing squad, electrocute them, or tar and feather them and have them run through a 500 foot gauntlet of swinging truncheons.  Mel Gibson could make a movie about it.

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‘Dear Future Generations:  Please accept our apologies.  We were roaring drunk on petroleum.’  -  Kurt Vonnegut

‘Americans consume 25% of the world’s energy despite representing just 5% of global population.’  -  Scientific American

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Posted: 10 March 2012 02:00 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 118 ]
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unsmoked - 10 March 2012 11:15 AM
hannahfriend - 09 March 2012 04:27 PM

C’mon, he said, “I am Jesus…”
Well, at least Luke wrote that he said that.

Thousands of people in each generation really do think they are Jesus.  Remember, the Bible Jesus said he’d be back soon.

People who think they are Napoleon sometimes stand with one hand tucked under their coat and maybe fashion a cocked hat out of newspaper.  People who think they are Jesus sometimes go so far as to puncture their hands and feet, wear sandals and a robe, carry a shepherd’s crook, and sport long hair and beard like the popular Sunday-school portraits.  There may be one ranting in Hyde Park right now.

It wasn’t Paul that said “I am Jesus,” it was the voice he heard identifying itself.  And supposedly others at the scene heard the voice too.  Soon after, a man named Ananias had a vision that Jesus told him to go to Paul and place his hands on him to restore his sight, which he did.

Again, this is the circulated tale, written about 30 years after the event.

Your point is noted that it is not uncommon for people to be mistakenly convinced that they have heard God’s voice or even that they are Jesus.

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Posted: 10 March 2012 02:08 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 119 ]
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[edit] Otherworldly business.

[ Edited: 10 March 2012 02:18 PM by Answerer ]
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Posted: 10 March 2012 02:16 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 120 ]
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Answerer - 10 March 2012 02:08 PM
hannahfriend - 10 March 2012 02:00 PM

It wasn’t Paul that said “I am Jesus,” it was the voice he heard identifying itself.  And supposedly others at the scene heard the voice too.

Is that right? I’m almost certain that I read a scholarly review that said he reported that his companions witnessed the light only, but no one else heard the voice. Oh well, no biggie ... or should I shout hallelujah and BELIEVE now!? ____Now? ____Now?


Hold on! Satan just showed up. I gotta go slap him around some.

 

Pshew!!!  Ok, I’m back. ____Now?

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