Project Reason is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit foundation devoted to spreading scientific knowledge and secular values in society. The foundation draws on the talents of prominent and creative thinkers in a wide range of disciplines to encourage critical thinking and erode the influence of dogmatism, superstition, and bigotry in our world.

   
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Posted: 29 January 2012 01:00 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 181 ]
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The Players:
  Michael Palin - First Yorkshireman;
  Graham Chapman - Second Yorkshireman;
  Terry Jones - Third Yorkshireman;
  Eric Idle - Fourth Yorkshireman;
The Scene:
  Four well-dressed men are sitting together at a vacation resort.
  ‘Farewell to Thee’ is played in the background on Hawaiian guitar.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risotto.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
  Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas, eh, Josiah?
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
  You’re right there, Obadiah.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
  Who’d have thought thirty year ago we’d all be sittin’ here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o’ tea.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
  A cup o’ cold tea.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
  Without milk or sugar.
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
  Or tea.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  In a cracked cup, an’ all.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
  Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
  The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
  But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, “Money doesn’t buy you happiness, son”.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
  Aye, ‘e was right.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  Aye, ‘e was.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
  I was happier then and I had nothin’. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
  House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, ‘alf the floor was missing, and we were all ‘uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
  Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t’ corridor!
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  Oh, we used to dream of livin’ in a corridor! Would ha’ been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House? Huh.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
  Well, when I say ‘house’ it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
  We were evicted from our ‘ole in the ground; we ‘ad to go and live in a lake.
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
  You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t’ shoebox in t’ middle o’ road.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  Cardboard box?
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
  Aye.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t’ mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi’ his belt.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
  Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o’clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of ‘ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
  Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to ‘ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o’clock at night and lick road clean wit’ tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit’ bread knife.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
  Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
  And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won’t believe you.
ALL:
  They won’t!

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All right, no one is to stone ANYONE until I blow this whistle! Even… and let me make this absolutely clear… even if they do say “Jehovah”!

  shock

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Posted: 29 January 2012 01:10 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 182 ]
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Yar!  Har, har!!

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“More than at any time in history, mankind faces a crossroads.  One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. 
Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly”—Woody Allen

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Posted: 29 January 2012 01:10 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 183 ]
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Andrew - 29 January 2012 12:51 PM
Dennis Campbell - 29 January 2012 12:41 PM

And then there were the 20-foot snow drifts and a five-mile walk to school…..

(Andrew):  Yeah…with a hot potato in your pocket to keep you warm and to eat for lunch.

Nah, we were too poor for hot potatoes, they were cold.  Could not afford shoes either.

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Religion is good for one thing: making you feel better while someone else rules you.  Religion is more a reflection than a cause of conflicts. The causes lie in conflicting cultural mores and traits.

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Posted: 29 January 2012 01:13 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 184 ]
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Dennis Campbell - 29 January 2012 01:10 PM
Andrew - 29 January 2012 12:51 PM
Dennis Campbell - 29 January 2012 12:41 PM

And then there were the 20-foot snow drifts and a five-mile walk to school…..

(Andrew):  Yeah…with a hot potato in your pocket to keep you warm and to eat for lunch.

Nah, we were too poor for hot potatoes, they were cold.  Could not afford shoes either.

Potatoes!! Luxury, we would dream of potatoes and shoes, we had to make do with one broken flip flop between the three of us…

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...

All right, no one is to stone ANYONE until I blow this whistle! Even… and let me make this absolutely clear… even if they do say “Jehovah”!

  shock

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Posted: 29 January 2012 01:14 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 185 ]
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MARTIN UK - 29 January 2012 01:13 PM

Potatoes!! Luxury, we would dream of potatoes and shoes, we had to make do with one broken flip flop between the three of us…

(Andrew):  At least you had a flip flop to share…

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“More than at any time in history, mankind faces a crossroads.  One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. 
Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly”—Woody Allen

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Posted: 29 January 2012 01:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 186 ]
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Andrew - 29 January 2012 01:14 PM
MARTIN UK - 29 January 2012 01:13 PM

Potatoes!! Luxury, we would dream of potatoes and shoes, we had to make do with one broken flip flop between the three of us…

(Andrew):  At least you had a flip flop to share…

cheese ...

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All right, no one is to stone ANYONE until I blow this whistle! Even… and let me make this absolutely clear… even if they do say “Jehovah”!

  shock

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Posted: 10 February 2012 01:30 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 187 ]
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LOL Love their accents, Martin. I enjoy British humor so much. I get a belly laugh out of it. It is similar to Australian humor. It’s not so much what is said but how it’s said. I won’t get onto how poor we were. Don’t even let let me start.

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Faith means not wanting to know what is true - Nietzsche

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Posted: 10 February 2012 04:57 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 188 ]
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Die fröhliche Wissenschaft (Rob) - 10 February 2012 01:30 AM

LOL Love their accents, Martin. I enjoy British humor so much.


But when it’s British, it’s humour ... damnit man!

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“Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment.  Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.”—Albert Einstein

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Posted: 10 February 2012 05:04 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 189 ]
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Quite so, Skep. Margret Thatcher, for example, was British and she was a complete joke. Along with cowboy Ronnie Reagan. I think that was the closest American and British humor ever came to a sort of rapprochement. From there, it has been downhill all the way. At least on the conservative side of humor.

(Edited for wrongness)

[ Edited: 10 February 2012 10:28 AM by Die fröhliche Wissenschaft (Rob) ]
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Faith means not wanting to know what is true - Nietzsche

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Posted: 10 February 2012 10:18 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 190 ]
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Thanks so much for posting the entire scene Martin. First time I heard that skit I laughed my ass off for a looooong time. My favourite: “Luxury”...the way he said it was hilarious.

I just had a good chuckle reliving that!

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Posted: 10 February 2012 11:10 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 191 ]
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ChaosRules - 10 February 2012 10:18 AM

Thanks so much for posting the entire scene Martin. First time I heard that skit I laughed my ass off for a looooong time. My favourite: “Luxury”...the way he said it was hilarious.

I just had a good chuckle reliving that!

It certainly is a classic.

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All right, no one is to stone ANYONE until I blow this whistle! Even… and let me make this absolutely clear… even if they do say “Jehovah”!

  shock

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