MARTIN UK - 22 December 2011 12:39 AM

Yes Ymirheim, I also saw the Ted Talks you mentioned, the data was interesting, especially noting that those given too many choice, the experiment giving some students the option to change which artwork they chose for instance, actually created more doubt and anxiety which ultimately affected their happiness.

The lesson here is to be happy with your lot and if not, change what you can and have no regret.

Ah yes, I remember the discussion about choices from one of the ted talks, that is also one of those things that seems obvious once you hear it but it never crossed my mind before. The amount of time we spend regretting decisions we already made, or pondering decisions yet to be made back and fourth. I have made a very easy adaptation for my own everyday life. I have a coin that I always carry in my back pocket now. For any decision when I can’t make up my mind after an initial short weighing of the options, I flip the coin and that is what it is gonna be. No back and fourth, if I can’t decide within 5 minutes then in all likeliness I won’t be able to decide in 10 so I’ll let the randomness of the universe pick.

Ymirheim - 22 December 2011 08:45 AM

...Ah yes, I remember the discussion about choices from one of the ted talks, that is also one of those things that seems obvious once you hear it but it never crossed my mind before. The amount of time we spend regretting decisions we already made, or pondering decisions yet to be made back and fourth… .

I have to agree with you here, we waste time and more importantly, we cause ourselves so much anxiety on decisions that will ultimately have no impact on our well being whatsoever.
It’s a bad habit that is difficult to kick.
I find myself repeating “Non of this is important.” whenever I am aware of becoming distressed over the mediocre and that works for me.

MARTIN UK - 23 December 2011 12:03 AM

Ymirheim - 22 December 2011 08:45 AM

...Ah yes, I remember the discussion about choices from one of the ted talks, that is also one of those things that seems obvious once you hear it but it never crossed my mind before. The amount of time we spend regretting decisions we already made, or pondering decisions yet to be made back and fourth… .

I have to agree with you here, we waste time and more importantly, we cause ourselves so much anxiety on decisions that will ultimately have no impact on our well being whatsoever.
It’s a bad habit that is difficult to kick.
I find myself repeating “Non of this is important.” whenever I am aware of becoming distressed over the mediocre and that works for me.

Aye the more time I have invested into learning what it really takes to be happy in life, the more I realize that it is a constant journey where you need to work on it every day. Unfortunately most people never even start that journey because they are too caught up in our misguided preconceptions of what it takes to be happy, and there is a blatant lack of a secular scientific path to a more fulfilled life, most of it has been hijacked or tainted by pseudo religion or new age woo. There really is room in the world for a scientific “Buddhism” that combines what we actually know today about emotions and the brain and well being and put all the knowledge into real and practical ways of improving ones life. Until then the population of the rich world will keep running to pseudo scientific cults and faiths or pop pills to make themselves feel good despite living at a time and in a place of unprecedented possibilities, free time, health and wealth.

Ymirheim - 23 December 2011 10:39 AM

MARTIN UK - 23 December 2011 12:03 AM

Ymirheim - 22 December 2011 08:45 AM

...Ah yes, I remember the discussion about choices from one of the ted talks, that is also one of those things that seems obvious once you hear it but it never crossed my mind before. The amount of time we spend regretting decisions we already made, or pondering decisions yet to be made back and fourth… .

I have to agree with you here, we waste time and more importantly, we cause ourselves so much anxiety on decisions that will ultimately have no impact on our well being whatsoever.
It’s a bad habit that is difficult to kick.
I find myself repeating “Non of this is important.” whenever I am aware of becoming distressed over the mediocre and that works for me.

Aye the more time I have invested into learning what it really takes to be happy in life, the more I realize that it is a constant journey where you need to work on it every day. Unfortunately most people never even start that journey because they are too caught up in our misguided preconceptions of what it takes to be happy, and there is a blatant lack of a secular scientific path to a more fulfilled life, most of it has been hijacked or tainted by pseudo religion or new age woo. There really is room in the world for a scientific “Buddhism” that combines what we actually know today about emotions and the brain and well being and put all the knowledge into real and practical ways of improving ones life. Until then the population of the rich world will keep running to pseudo scientific cults and faiths or pop pills to make themselves feel good despite living at a time and in a place of unprecedented possibilities, free time, health and wealth.

Yup, you got it right and I’m in the same boat, spent years struggling with low mood and popping pills, until I too realised the importance of investing a little time each day to keep my mind on track, this small investment can reap great rewards.

i don’t mean to say that meditation is pointless at all in fact I know it has beneficial effects that can be used in life. I used to be at least 80 lbs overweight and i never tried to diet or anything because I never even really noticed it it just kind of creeps up on you as any person who has a problem with weight might understand. but before I started meditating I was never aware of the desire I had to eat food. I never realized that if there was a last slice of pizza I would be angry when someone else took it. I never knew how much subconscious effort was used when I scheduled my day to sort of put myself in situation where it would be easier for me to acquire food and how I made an effort to also eat as often as I could. If you had asked me before meditation why I was fat I would have said I just eat bad foods and don’t exercise enough but through meditation I was made aware that the truth is I just cannot stand to not be eating. And so I decided how I was going to stop this was by acting in the exact opposite of my nature every time I felt a craving for food. When I start to worry who will have the last slice of pizza I not only nip it in the bud so to speak by not caring about it but I also offer someone a slice that I had actually planned on eating. every time I was going to go buy a burger for lunch I would instead buy a salad or just eat some nuts. And slowly my attitude changed so much that now I almost involuntarily seek ways to give people food.  I buy people in the office bagels and I give people little bags of candy and not only have I lost weight but I actually look forward to the opportunity to NOT horde food and give to others which has made me much happier in itself. This kind of insight could have taken me years to notice had it not been for meditation if I was to ever notice it. So I know with no doubt the actual beneficial applications meditation can have for anyone. It really is a domino effect of good actions and you dont have to be a buddhist or a hindu to see the effects.

hobbesbrundige - 26 December 2011 01:29 AM

i don’t mean to say that meditation is pointless at all in fact I know it has beneficial effects that can be used in life. I used to be at least 80 lbs overweight and i never tried to diet or anything because I never even really noticed it it just kind of creeps up on you as any person who has a problem with weight might understand. but before I started meditating I was never aware of the desire I had to eat food. I never realized that if there was a last slice of pizza I would be angry when someone else took it. I never knew how much subconscious effort was used when I scheduled my day to sort of put myself in situation where it would be easier for me to acquire food and how I made an effort to also eat as often as I could. If you had asked me before meditation why I was fat I would have said I just eat bad foods and don’t exercise enough but through meditation I was made aware that the truth is I just cannot stand to not be eating. And so I decided how I was going to stop this was by acting in the exact opposite of my nature every time I felt a craving for food. When I start to worry who will have the last slice of pizza I not only nip it in the bud so to speak by not caring about it but I also offer someone a slice that I had actually planned on eating. every time I was going to go buy a burger for lunch I would instead buy a salad or just eat some nuts. And slowly my attitude changed so much that now I almost involuntarily seek ways to give people food.  I buy people in the office bagels and I give people little bags of candy and not only have I lost weight but I actually look forward to the opportunity to NOT horde food and give to others which has made me much happier in itself. This kind of insight could have taken me years to notice had it not been for meditation if I was to ever notice it. So I know with no doubt the actual beneficial applications meditation can have for anyone. It really is a domino effect of good actions and you dont have to be a buddhist or a hindu to see the effects.

Indeed, something I’ve practiced as well (not relating to food, but to other fixations).  I’ve found it very helpful, when a thought pops up that I don’t want to entertain, to simply say “No Thanks” to the impulse.

Some of these methods are really useful, I don’t understand the resistance some people seem to have towards them.
I guess if you’ve had a bad experience connected in some way, you can be put off anything.