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So here’s my situation; My elderly mother (in her early 90s) is a big believer in woo-woo (as the Amazing Randi would say). She unquestioningly eats up anything having to do with psychics, UFOS, life after death, etc. She is a HUGE Sylvia Browne fan. In fact, I counted 15 - FIFTEEN Sylvia Browne books that she had packed when she recently moved in with me! She may even have more that I’m not aware of. I was shocked that Sylvia Browne even wrote that many books! I thought she just wrote a few. One can only imagine what kind of crap this lady is churning out to the gullible public. Anyway, I tried to educate my mother by showing her some articles and video clips clearly exposing Sylvia Browne for the fraud that she is. But my mother’s thinking has been so perverted by the combination of brainwashing and aging, that she cannot even entertain the possibility that her beloved Sylvia could be anything but saintly. But that’s not all. She’s a sucker for ANY book having to do with someone’s account of “the other side.”
So what’s the dilemma? Well, on the one hand I HATE seeing her spend her money on that crap. Granted, she’s not nearly in any kind of financial peril because of her occasional book purchases. But, imo, ANY penny spent on this crap is money that is utterly wasted. She just lives on her monthly social security check, so she’s not rich by any means. Furthermore, and aside from the financial aspect, I simply hate seeing her be hoodwinked by these snake oil salesmen/women.
On the other hand, at her age, reading is one of the few pleasures she has left in life. I wouldn’t want to deprive her of something she gets enjoyment out of. And it’s not as if I, or anyone else, has a chance in hell of rewiring her brain. So I bite my tongue and no longer challenge her on it (well, not nearly as much as I used to). Even though it makes me feel icky to let her continue in her delusions. But I figure as long as she’s not making the $750 phone calls to Sylvia for a psychic reading it’s just something I’ll have to put up with.
As long as she isn’t running up your phone bill, I’d say it’s not that big of a deal. My grandfather, also in his early 90s (and diabetic and had melanoma) still smokes his pipe. My mom used to give him a hard time about it, to get him to quit. My uncle finally told her to knock it off, since smoking the pipe is, in the same way you put it, one of the few pleasures he has left. So for your mom, I’d say it’s fine as long as it doesn’t get too out of control. And who knows? Maybe since she loves reading, she’ll pick up one of your books on her own some time.
If she’s not spending your money or running up your bills, it’s none of your business. Bug off.
Hypothetically…
What if she was spending 25% of her income on that stuff? 50%? 80%? 100%? At what point would it become an issue? I’m sure there would be some point at which you would be concerned if your parent was spending a large portion of their income making known fraudsters rich(er).
So although it may not be any of my business now, it is my concern. And, as I said, if not for the financial aspect, simply for the fact that she is being manipulated by unscrupulous individuals.
All that being said, I do see the upside to indulging her. So I will indeed “bug off.”
If she’s not spending your money or running up your bills, it’s none of your business. Bug off.
Hypothetically…
What if she was spending 25% of her income on that stuff? 50%? 80%? 100%? At what point would it become an issue? I’m sure there would be some point at which you would be concerned if your parent was spending a large portion of their income making known fraudsters rich(er).
So although it may not be any of my business now, it is my concern. And, as I said, if not for the financial aspect, simply for the fact that she is being manipulated by unscrupulous individuals.
All that being said, I do see the upside to indulging her. So I will indeed “bug off.”
Ron
Well, I suppose if she were cutting into your potential inheritance, it might, hypothetically, be your business. But your inheritance is not a vested interest, as she can cut you out anytime she wants to, which she might well do if you interfere with her spending habits.
If she were cutting into her ability to meet her own financial obligations and expenses, then it would be a problem. If, say, she needed 25% of her income for obligations and expenses and she was spending more than 75% on this particular indulgence, then I’d say you would be obligated to step in.
Well, actually, I had something similar happen with my dad. Toward the end, he started buying all these little porcelain figurines - dozens of them. He thought they were an investment and would appreciate in value. It was a total rip-off, but someone had convinced him of their worth, so he was ordering them left and right. His dementia soon got the best of him, and he had to go to a veteran’s home. After he died at age 92, my brother and sister found tons of these worthless pieces of junk in his home and garage. It was kind of sad.
How about sprinkling her apartment with other types of books she might enjoy reading - books that contain less woo but will keep her mind occupied. Keep the good stuff up to her and you might be able to wean her off the woo.
How about sprinkling her apartment with other types of books she might enjoy reading - books that contain less woo but will keep her mind occupied. Keep the good stuff up to her and you might be able to wean her off the woo.
I tried that. She really has no interest in anything other than Sylvia Browne (or similar fraudsters). And she is SO convinced that Sylvia knows - REALLY KNOWS, every detail of the afterlife; the temperature there, the type of homes people live in, what pets are there, who our guardian angels are, what age we assume when we’re on the other side, etc. (yes, Sylvia makes all these claims and more in her books) You should hear my mother talk about that stuff. I think that’s what disturbs me even more than the financial aspect. I feel that my own mother’s mind is somehow being held hostage by people who prey on the elderly and the gullible. And like I said, nothing’s going to change her mind now, so it is what it is. I hate it on the one hand, but I like the fact that she still reads, enjoys reading, and keeps her mind involved in some way. So I would never take her books away, or prevent her from reading what she wants. But it’s frustrating knowing that convicted criminal, fraudster, liar, cult founder (Novus Spiritus Church) Sylvia Browne has ownership of a piece of my mother’s mind.
Yes, it makes me angry when these evil creeps prey on the most vulnerable. I hope this charlatan get hers one day. Has anyone tried to sue her yet for fraud yet?
I’d probably be writing Sylvia Brown a nasty note. But that’s just me - atttack first and think latter. It’s often counter productive so I don’t recommend it.
I just had a look at her entry on Wiki. It seems she’s already been “convicted of investment fraud and grand theft, and has been involved in numerous controversies regarding her claims and predictions.”
Maybe a ghost should be hired to go round there and haunt her. That would be fun to watch.
Is it really any different than buying any other book of fiction? I’ve read nearly all of Stephen King’s books which is theoretically a waste of money. Like any other non-rational belief I don’t’ think believing itself is a bad thing it’s when believers look down on you for not believing in similar nonsense. As long as she isn’t sending donations to her or trying to teach your children these beliefs I say let her enjoy the fairytale.
Is it really any different than buying any other book of fiction? I’ve read nearly all of Stephen King’s books which is theoretically a waste of money. Like any other non-rational belief I don’t’ think believing itself is a bad thing it’s when believers look down on you for not believing in similar nonsense. As long as she isn’t sending donations to her or trying to teach your children these beliefs I say let her enjoy the fairytale.
I guess the difference is that Sylvia Brown’s books are not sold as fiction. They purport to know things that it is not possible to know - things about real people’s lives and what is going to happen to them and where their dead loved ones are. Vulnerable people can be taken in and exploited and this sort of exploitation by Brown has been the basis of action against her. Everyone knows that horror stories by Stephen King are just that, stories, he says so himself. Sylvia Brown and her ilk do not say their writings or ‘psychic readings’ are fiction and if they admitted that they were fiction no one would buy them. It’s exploitative and unconscionable. Just like a lot of the supernatural mumbo jumbo peddled by religion.
I’d buy her a book about Swedenborg. He’s way cooler and also dead, so he won’t reap the profits from his books. Danger is that she might get a hankering to joing the Swedenborg society. Now, there’s also Edgar Cayce. She would love him. He never made a profit from any of his readings at all and probably died prematurely because of them. His “gifts” may have been self-induced, but, he wasn’t a charlatan and never exploited anyone.
Whatever. Just remember know one will love you as much as your mom. Don’t try to change her…just appreciate her for who she is and not for who she isn’t.
Both cases (Sylvia Browne büks and the figurines—I withhold the honor of calling them actual books) are arguably fraud, but I suspect your mother actually gets a return from her investment in the form of comfort regarding the fact that she’s hasn’t much time remaining to toil in her mortal coil. Personally I wouldn’t mess with it.
Right. Her comfort and my contempt for the Sylvia Browne’s of the world is the source of my inner conflict. Ultimately, her comfort wins out. But I wish… boy do I wish, she would somehow see the light.
