Hotchkiss’s seven deadly sins of narcissism
Hotchkiss[16] identified what she called the seven deadly sins of narcissism:

1.  Shamelessness - Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.

2.  Magical thinking - Narcissists see themselves as perfect using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
3.  Arrogance - A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
4.  Envy - A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person’s ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
5.  Entitlement - Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves uniquely special. Any failure to comply will be considered an attack on their superiority and the perpetrator is considered to be an “awkward” or “difficult” person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
6.  Exploitation - can take many forms but always involves the using of others without regards for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
7.  Bad Boundaries - narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist will be treated as if they are part of the narcissist and be expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist, there is no boundary between self and other.
The above was from Wikipedia.  To some degree, of course, all of us “love ourselves,” but the narcissist does so to the exclusion of all others.  Like many other terms, no narcissist is self-defined, but only considered that by others.  Narcissistic persons are not able to “see themselves” from the viewpoints of others.  The possible “causes” of narcissism include of course how they’re raised by their parents, but it may be that there is a significant genetic component as well.

Dennis

Thus we have this thingy known as narcissistic personality disorder? Dennis? Anyone here fit this mold IYO?

eudemonia - 15 March 2010 04:30 AM

Thus we have this thingy known as arcissistic personality disorder? Dennis? Anyone hee fit this mold IYO?

/raises hand sheepishly

Good grief I had to edit my post as I left off the ‘n’ is narcissistic. LOL I guess there are ars here as well. kiss my ars types?

Monday morning fuckwittery on my part!

eudemonia - 15 March 2010 04:30 AM

Thus we have this thingy known as narcissistic personality disorder? Dennis? Anyone here fit this mold IYO?

Well, not of course me, since I’m too perfect for such a label.  But there might possibly be some here who could be candidates.

Dennis

I am quite certain I have a NPD (in the sense that this is a self-diagnosis).  Once I discovered what narcissism is (by randomly picking up a book called “Narcissism” by Alexander Lowen), I was already a parent myself, with too many domestic priorities beyond seeing a psychotherapist.  It is also discouraging that many psychotherapists, do not work with this type of personality disorder.  Although I suspect that even CBT would be a great help to me.  For the time being, self-help has improved my ability to manage, which has in turn made for a happier spouse

My mother and father were especially absent from my childhood, as my sister was born with a severe physical and mental disability, and was perpetually in and out of Sick Kids hospital her entire life.  My sister died last year, in her late twenties.  I believe my father is a narcissist, and perhaps even has an ASD to boot.  To make matters worse (in hindsight) my parents, and significant teen influences, were repressive and dogmatic.  It was only after backpacking in Asia for the better part of a year, that I was able to struggle out of faith, therefore allowing me to think freely about myself and recognize the NPD.  I was also made to feel like a “loser” throughout public school, for reasons not well understood.  For an entire grade I was made to sit alone, separated from the other students.  I can only assume issues at home were causing misbehavior, which resulted in poor school performance.

I struggle to know which emotions and behaviors are “normal”, and which ones are driven by an unhealthy and largely unconscious narcissism.  I want to do whatever I can to not pass NPD onto my two sons, and treat people as people.  But there is something inside me that does not know how.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to go about finding a suitable therapist?

deyo - 16 March 2010 11:34 AM

I am quite certain I have a NPD (in the sense that this is a self-diagnosis).  Once I discovered what narcissism is (by randomly picking up a book called “Narcissism” by Alexander Lowen), I was already a parent myself, with too many domestic priorities beyond seeing a psychotherapist.  It is also discouraging that many psychotherapists, do not work with this type of personality disorder.  Although I suspect that even CBT would be a great help to me.  For the time being, self-help has improved my ability to manage, which has in turn made for a happier spouse

My mother and father were especially absent from my childhood, as my sister was born with a severe physical and mental disability, and was perpetually in and out of Sick Kids hospital her entire life.  My sister died last year, in her late twenties.  I believe my father is a narcissist, and perhaps even has an ASD to boot.  To make matters worse (in hindsight) my parents, and significant teen influences, were repressive and dogmatic.  It was only after backpacking in Asia for the better part of a year, that I was able to struggle out of faith, therefore allowing me to think freely about myself and recognize the NPD.  I was also made to feel like a “loser” throughout public school, for reasons not well understood.  For an entire grade I was made to sit alone, separated from the other students.  I can only assume issues at home were causing misbehavior, which resulted in poor school performance.

I struggle to know which emotions and behaviors are “normal”, and which ones are driven by an unhealthy and largely unconscious narcissism.  I want to do whatever I can to not pass NPD onto my two sons, and treat people as people.  But there is something inside me that does not know how.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to go about finding a suitable therapist?

The fact that you say you’re struggling with tryng to know “which emotions and behaviors are normal” suggests that you are NOT a narcissistic personality disorder.  NPDs do not have that kind of conflict.

Dennis

Dennis Campbell - 14 March 2010 09:17 AM

the seven deadly sins of narcissism:

1.  Shamelessness
2.  Magical thinking
3.  Arrogance
4.  Envy
5.  Entitlement
6.  Exploitation
7.  Bad Boundaries

Traces Elk - 16 March 2010 02:41 PM

Dennis Campbell - 14 March 2010 09:17 AM

the seven deadly sins of narcissism:

1.  Shamelessness
2.  Magical thinking
3.  Arrogance
4.  Envy
5.  Entitlement
6.  Exploitation
7.  Bad Boundaries

1. Me

2. Me

3. Me, fer shur

4. Me

5. Me, again

6. Me

7. Yep, me.

What puts the kybosh on all this is that I just don’t give a fuck. How can I be narcissistic?

Dennis Campbell - 16 March 2010 02:45 PM

Salt Creek, how did you know I was thinking of you?!

Dennis

Magic!

Traces Elk - 17 March 2010 08:20 AM

Dennis Campbell - 16 March 2010 02:45 PM

Salt Creek, how did you know I was thinking of you?!

Dennis

Magic!

Of course, I should’ve realized that.

Dennis